You pick ten fictional characters, and fill in the appropriate answers.
Don't look ahead while you're filling in the names unless you want the quiz to be ruined. ;]


Contestant number one.
Link (LoZ)
Contestant number two.
Jack Sparrow (Pirates ftw)
Contestant number three.
Zaphod Beeblebrox (Hitchhiker's Guide)
Contestant number four.
Brock (POKEMANS!!)
Contestant number five.
Joker (Batman)
Contestant number six.
Ganondorf (LoZ)
Contestant number seven.
Sweeney Todd - (Sweeney Todd)
Contestant number eight.
Princess Peach (Mario and the like)
Contestant number nine.
Marvin the Paranoid Android (Hitchhiker's Guide)
Contestant number ten.
Princess Zelda (LoZ)

What would you do if...

Number 5 (Joker) was stranded on the toilet because he was out of paper?

Well, considering how he would probably kill me if I didn't get some for him...


You came home one day and found Number 3 (Zaphod) and Number 7 (Sweeney Todd) in your house, both drunk out of their minds?

I would leave, but not without installing a camera to view the possible hilarity that will ensue in addition to the violence.


Number 8 (Peach) offered to fix the plumbing problems with your house?

She DOES spend a lot of time with plumbers...


Number 2 (Jack Sparrow) showed up at school as your substitute teacher for the day?

We probably wouldn't learn anything that day, except about alcohol's permanent effects.


You accidentally saw Number 10 (Zelda) wearing nothing but a small, purple speedo?

tell the girl to put some clothes on, duh! i mean, if it were peach, i wouldn't be surprised, but zelda is the bearer of wisdom; the girl's gotta have some class.


Number 3 (Zaphod) insisted on driving you around town to wherever you wanted to go for the entire day?

Um, doing you mean drive me around the universe? i mean, come on.

Number 9 (Marvin) killed Number 4 (Brock) right in front of you?

I'd laugh at the likely hilarious image of Brock dying. And then try to keep Marvin from killing himself, cuz the poor robot is already depressed enough; murder would just send him over the edge.


Would you allow...

Number 6 (Ganondorf) to redecorate your house for you, however they see fit?

He'd either stick persian rugs everywhere (which there already are) or fill it with evil monsters. either way, i'm good.

Number 1 (Link) to be your dentist and work in your mouth with a drill?

if he L-targeted my mouth he might do some good...


Number 10 (Zelda) and Number 5 (Joker) to be left alone in your house or apartment unsupervised for an entire weekend?

video cameras, plz. that i would want to watch.

Number 8 (peach) to borrow some of your clothes and wear them in public?

i'm not sure if my clothes are whorish enough for her.


Number 2 (jack sparrow) to try to fix your computer when it's messed up?

... i'm gonna go with no on this one.


Number 4 (brock) to set you up on a date with Number 8 (peach)?

i wouldn't be surprised if he tried to do that. he'd prolly try to sneak up on us in the bedroom, hey.
... not that i sleep with people on the first date. or go out with women. >.<


Number 1 (Link) and Number 3 (Zaphod) to operate heavy machinery together?

OH MY GOD NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



What would you do if...

Number 1 (Link) woke you up in the middle of the night?

i'd be all, 'link, this type of twilight is normal.' (yes, i know that's not when twilight occurs, BUT FOR THE SAKE OF THE JOKE SHUT UP)


Number 2 (jack) asked you to go out with him?

he probably wouldn't bother asking.



Number 3 (zaphod) walked into the bathroom while you were showering?

doesn't matter what i'd do; that ol' boy would have at me whether i liked it or not. but i would like it. so it's okay.


Number 4 (brock) cooked you dinner?

I'd eat it, cuz he's a good cook, yo.


Number 5 (Joker) was lying next to you on the beach, sleeping?

i'd kidnap him and raep him. ^-^ give him a taste of his own medicine, yes?


Number 8 (peach) got into the hospital somehow?

she prolly has an std.


Number 9 (marvin) made fun of your friends?

he's too depressed to do that. but if he did, i'd prolly think he's just trying to avoid talking about himself, the poor thing.


Number 10 (zelda) ignored you all the time?

the girl's not very social, so i wouldn't be surprised.



What would they do under the following circumstances?

Two serial killers are hunting you down. What will Number 1 (Link) do?

he wouldn't have to do anything. as a gerudo, ganondorf would protect me. <3


You're on a vacation with Number 2 (Jack Sparrow) and you manage to break your leg. What does Number 2 do?

probably reset it.


It's your birthday. What will Number 3 (Zaphod) give you?

an autographed photo of himself.


You're stuck in a house that's on fire with Number 4. What does Number 4 (Brock) do?

say how my hotness caused it. XD


You're about to do something that'll make you feel extremely embarrassed. What will Number 5 (Joker) do?

make some disgusting joke about it.


You're about to marry Number 10 (Zelda). What's Number 6's (Ganondorf) reaction?

threesome, anyone? >.<



You got dumped by someone. How will Number 7 (Sweeney Todd) cheer you up?

slit the person's throat. ... ftw.

You're angry about it afterwards, how does Number 8 (Peach) calm you down?

take me shopping, prolly.


You compete in some tournament. How does Number 9 (Marvin) support you?

telling me how good i am in comparison to him.


You can't stop laughing. What will Number 10 (Zelda) do?

i have no idea. cast a spell on me to make me stop?



Relationship Section...

Number 5 (Joker) asks Number 2 (Jack) out on a date. Upon seeing this, what do you do or say?

HOW MANY VIDEO CAMERAS TO I HAVE TO BUY, SHEESH


Number 7 (Sweeney Todd) asks you to a dance. Do you accept?

yes. he might kill me if i didn't.


Number 8 (peach) and Number 9 (marvin) are fighting over you. What happens now?

hilarious things, that's what happens.


Number 1 (Link) tries to kiss you. What do you do?

I'M A FUCKIN GERUDO, BITCH! DO YOU KNOW HOW PISSED GANON WOULD BE?!
... however, while he'd hurt you, he wouldn't hurt me. ... maybe i'll go with the flow on this one.


Number 3 (zaphod) confesses his secret love for Number 5 (Joker). What do you think of this?

I'd say Zaphod should go along on the Joker and Jack's date so I have to buy one less video camera.


Number 6 (Ganondorf) is cheating on Number 7 (Sweeney Todd) with Number 3 (Zaphod), and you find out about it. What do you do?

psh, ganondorf doesn't go that way. if he does, i see the reason for his evil. THE MAN JUST WANTED ANOTHER MAN, SO HE FREAKED OUT WHEN HE SAW LINK.


Number 4 (Brock) proposes to you. Your reaction?

well, he proposes to pretty much every girl he sees. so i'd say no.


Number 1 (Link) is all you've ever dreamed of.

i've dreamt of him once. he was playing a guitar in adventure mode in melee.
anyone want to analyze that?



Number 2 (Jack) tells you about his deeply hidden love for Number 9 (Marvin). Your reaction?

... lulz.


You're dating Number 3 (Zaphod) and introduce him to your parents. Will they get along?

no, cuz zaphod's a closeted genius, and they prefer the open ones.


Number 4 (brock) as well as Number 2 (Jack) love Number 1 (Link). What does that mean?

Brock is bi, Jack is a whore (c'mon, link AND marvin?), and link is popular with the men, which is too bad, cuz he's apparently obsessed with me.


Number 6 (ganondorf) appears to be a player, he breaks many hearts. What do you do?

tell me something i don't know.


You had a haircut and Number 7 (Sweeney Todd) can't stop looking at you. What goes on in your mind?

... i'm scared. he'll probably recut it in my sleep. ... and then slit my throat.


Number 8 (peach) thinks he'll never get a girlfriend. What will you tell him?

... since when is peach a guy?


Number 9 (marvin) is too shy to face you and confesses their love by sending you an e-mail. Now what?

aww. he's too depressed to feel love.



Friendship Part...

Could Number 1 (Link) and Number 6 (Ganondorf) be soul mates?

isn't that what all the Link-Ganon yaois speculate?


Would Number 2 (Jack) trust Number 5 (Joker)?

no one should trust either of those.


Number 3 (zaphod) wants to go shopping, will Number 7 (Sweeney Todd) come along?

i doubt it. sweeney doesn't seem like the shopping type.


Number 4 (Dbrock) is bored and pokes Number 10 (zelda). What happens after that?

he falls in love with her.


Number 5 (Joker) and Number 1 (Link) are forced to go back to school together. What study will they pick?

Joker- Anatomy (so he can learn where it hurts)
Link- ... P.E.?


If Number 6 (Ganondorf) and Number 3 (Zaphod) cooked dinner, what would they make?

something painfully alcoholic and fused with saffron.


Number 7 (Sweeney Todd) and Number 9 (marvin) apply for the same job. What job?

judging depressingness of lives.

Number 8 (peach) gives Number 5 (Joker) a haircut. Is that alright?

that is never all right.


Number 9 (marvin) sketches what Number 6's (Ganondorf) perfect boyfriend should look like.

a very feminine man.



Number 10 (zelda) and Number 8 (peach) are blushing while they talk. What is their conversation about?

boys.



Random Nonsense:

What in the name of Holy Rabbit Dogs was Number 1 (link) doing outside in nothing but a small pink towel at 3 AM!?

i guess Ilia kicked him out (oh snap!)

What if Number 2 (jack) tied Number 4 (brock) to a flagpole and threw shoes at him until he cried?

i'd join jack, duh.


What if Number 8 (peach) and Number 5 (Joker) danced around the table naked. Your reaction upon seeing this?

jack the ripper is going to be pleased... 0.o



Number 1 (Link) has just officially been given a Pyro License. What happens now?

he gets a new weapon that's more useless than the ball and chain.


Would YOU tell Number 9 (Marvin) to "WOO! TAKE IT ALL OFF!"...?

well, i don't know about you, but i don't get turned on by seeing the inner workings of a depressed robot


What was Number 6 (ganondorf) in prison for?

rape/murder/theft/general bamf-ness.


What if, suddenly, Number 4 (brock) smashed through the wall of your room totally naked, posed, and shouted "OHHHH YEEEEAAAAH!"...?

RESTRAINING ORDER!